Rosanna Rothery manages to grab a few words with the quick-talking quipster Joe Pasquale.
I'VE heard of quick-fire humour, but when it comes to fast-speaking funnymen, Joe Pasquale's hypersonic delivery has to be the most astonishing.
"I'm in a bit of a rush so if we could just push on with it, I've got about four interviews to do," comes his opening gambit. "Fire away!"
A busy man. He's recently starred in Spamalot in the West End and is promoting his summer tour and his forthcoming Sherlock Holmes spoof, Ha Ha Holmes!
Pen is pushed across page as I frantically scribble down the flavour of his forthcoming comedy tour, which stops off at the Landmark Theatre in Ilfracombe this Saturday.
"It will be stand-up comedy, magic, singing, a bit of painting, a bit of audience participation, bit of mind-reading, a bit of everything really," he reels off, without actually appearing to draw breath.
It's not only his words that are delivered on the double, his life too seems frantically fast-paced.
"I love working generally, Rosanna, I don't like having time off. Obviously as you get older there are things, just physically, that you wouldn't be able to do but I keep my options open really, Rose, because you never know what's around the corner."
It's no doubt prudent that a modern-day variety entertainer is open to trendy new showcases for their talent, whether that's playing King Arthur in a prestigious West End show, being munched by rats in a reality TV series or sliding about on the ice in a celebrity talent contest.
"If you say no to stuff, people don't offer you it, do you know what I mean? If you say no to one thing, they don't come back to you again, so I normally say yes to everything, then regret it later."
This supersonic speedball of the stand-up world finds it all quite stimulating.
"What I like is the diversity of my work. One day you are in the jungle, the next day I'm doing a stand-up tour, the next day I'm doing a tour, the next day I'm in the panto, the next I'm doing a voice-over. I like all of it really.
"I think if I was doing the same thing all the time, I would get bored. Because of the diverse work that comes to me, I don't get the chance to get bored of anything."
He admits there's no grand master plan, no unfulfilled ambitions.
"I've never had a plan all my adult life. I've never thought I'd do this or that. It's just an open book and I see what comes in.
"It's the only way to be. You never know what's around the corner these days, whether it's good, bad or indifferent, so leave it open.
"If you don't plan it, then nothing can go wrong."
At this point I try to steer him back to his forthcoming show at the Landmark, thinking he might be glad to be associated with traditional, summery, end-of-pier, family entertainment.
"I am not bothered about association. It's just work to me and I hope they enjoy it. I don't look at anything and think: 'are people going to associate me with this?' That's complete crap when people associate stuff. It's just good fun. No association. It's my job."
He urges people to come though: "Life is too short. All you need to do is read the newspaper and turn the news on. It's a terrible world out there so come and have a laugh."
And with that he's gone: "Thanks darling. Bye, my love", he says ending a showbiz interview that lasted barely more than five minutes. It's a record for me. I have my doubts it is for him.
Joe Pasquale's Summer Tour heads to the Landmark Theatre, Ilfracombe on Saturday, August 17, 8.15pm. Tickets: £18.50 (adult), £15 (member), £10 (young person). Box office: 01271 324242.
Ha Ha Holmes! is a Sherlock Holmes Spoof starring Joe Pasquale which heads to the Queen's Theatre, Barnstaple on Wednesday November 6, 7.45pm.
Tickets: £22 (adult), £20 (member). Box office: 01271 324242.